So much for resolutions

You can pretty much disregard the last post because I know I have.


Basically right now, I'm feeling washed up like a beached whale. No it has nothing to do with PMS or the fact that I'm about as self confidant as a 400lb woman standing on the 28th story balcony with paper thin glass separating her from death.

You make me feel like shit. Yes, you. I've lived with you for 3 months now. I kinda wish I would have left you this weekend, after to told me that I was useless and I've wrecked your life and you deserve better than me; all because I asked you who that lard ass chick you were talking to in the bar was. Maybe you were thinking about how much you would love to fuck the rolls or something, because at that moment it became clear to me that I mean about as much to you as a ham sandwich.

Sometime you might want one, but you can always find something less boring and meatier.

literally.

Maybe if I gained 200lb you would find me more sexually attractive. God knows it's just a chore for you now.

But it didn't start then. I have spent a lot of my time crying over you. You don't care. Actually just yesterday, I was going to write you this letter, and I needed some paper, after about half an hour of me digging through all my boxes searching for something unaltered, you come in and start questioning me. Of course I don't want to tell you my intentions, I want you to fucking understand that I can't get through to you verbally, so I'm trying to find other ways to communicate. After harassing me for 20 minutes I break down, just like the WEAK FUCKING LITTLE BITCH that I am.

And what do you say when I finally admit to what I was doing?

here it is word for word in case you forgot:
You: what? you were going to write me a letter?
Me: no...Yeah. Ok. Yeah. you won't listen to what I say and I need you to understa..
You: You make me feel so good. (sincere tone not sarcasm)
Me: why? because you make me cry all the time?
You: yeah.


Words can't describe the hate I feel for you right now. You always say you want me to support you in what you do, yeah. I do. I do everything for you. I do you fucking laundry, I cook you dinner every night, I clean your fucking apartment, hell, I EVEN BOUGHT YOUR KID A BIRTHDAY PRESENT WHEN YOU COULDN'T GO SHOPPING. By the way, I still haven't got that money back. I guess it would be okay if your sonofabitch ex would actually let me meet the damn kids. We've been together a fucking year and you treat me like shit and I stay, so I'm pretty sure IM NOT GOING ANYWHERE!

I hate the way you look at me. Just because you're a fat ugly cunt and your ex has someone cuter doesn't mean you have to ruin my life. I have absolutely no problem with you as a person, I've even went out with you and your mom! We've been out together twice. I get along with you! Why do you have to make problems for me and mike? I can understand that I'm taking him away from you, but you left him and are with someone else... why can't he do the same? You still control everything he does, and get your fucking money so back off. I shouldn't have to change my number to get away from your phone calls, I shouldn't have to put up with your fat friends coming up to me and MY BOYFRIEND when WE ARE OUT TOGETHER and starting shit with me because you put them up to it. You know, 99% of our fights start because of you.

Get a life.