What I have been doing:

As a few of you may have noticed, I dropped off the face of the internet about a week and a half ago. I have heard a lot of rumors about what happened to me, and I am here to clear up some of the misconceptions.

1. I am not dead. I really am updating right now. I swear. This is not a ghost.

2. I didn't fall to my death while chasing chicken wings at the local bar.

3. I did not kill my neighbor and end up in jail for 9000 years.

So now that you all know that I am still alive, I'm sure you can finally get a good sleep at night.

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ON TOPIC: "what I have been doing"

Watching T.V.:
I think I have fallen in love with law and order special victims unit. And CSI Miami. I also have bad news.... I have found a new respect for the WHOA-MAN awesomeness that is Oprah.

Sleeping:
Well duh. Now that I have nothing to do until 4 am online, I ACTUALLY SLEEP!
Be proud. Be proud.

Being sick:
Internet withdrawals caused me to go out and socialize.
This caused horrible man experiences, awful female conversations, and a terrible common cold. The life outside of this room sucks dick for busfare and walks home.

I have to go watch CSI.

Three things that are wrong in the world:

1. money
2. money
3. money

I hate life.

Top ten reasons you probably piss me off.
So this is my first post and I'm supposed to be all witty and shit, but I can't think of a fucking thing. Actually that's not true. I wrote a really long entry about how much women piss me off and how bitter I am but that didn't seem appropriate on a females blog. So, fuck it. Here's a top ten list.
10) You are driving and yapping on your cell phone.
Shut the fuck up and drive.
9) You are listening to a type of music that irritates me.
What makes your ignorant ass think I want
to listen to your shitty music.
8) You interrupt me when I'm talking.
What I have to say is -n- times more important.
Shut up and listen.
7) You are a telemarketer.
Bottom feeding shit breather.
6) You are butt ugly and fat and you've got hot chicks all over you.
I'm speechless.
5) You are a "close talker".
Back the fuck away from me, homo. I don't need
to smell your breath to understand the bullshit
that is comming out of your mouth.
4) I just don't like you.
Go away.
3) You're happy.
There is absolutely nothing to be happy about
life sucks and you are going to die. Your mother
didn't love you either, she was lying.
2)You're breathing my air.
Stop breathing.
1) You've got all the brains of a box of hair.
Kill yourself.


Bite me,
Almighty Ruler

DMX wants to be a pastor:
The way I see it, if a rapper that swears more than (someone that swears a lot) can be a pastor, so can I.

I am starting my own church. For realz yo'.

Anyone that wants to do all the work for me is welcome to email me the bible... I have no freakin idea what the hell im talking about.

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in other news:
My computer is busted... so yeah, even less frequent updates...

Happy fucking April fools day!