HP SUCKS

Is there one place you can go and NOT be bombarded by ads?
NO.
I just bought this.


Every time I sign on, I get the cool "HP updates" pop-up. Full of useless shit like "buy a new HP computer now: Click here, or get MSN 8, or legally download songs from MSN music". BLAH BLAH BLAH. Pop-up blockers don't even block it. And you can't uninstall it.

FUCK YOU.
I like stealing copywrite material, I like my IE browser the way it is, and I'm sure as hell never buying another HP.

And who the hell uses the MSN link on Windows Media Player. "buy CD from MSN music"
WHY WOULD I BUY A CD I ALREADY HAVE? Seriously, I put in my Yellowcard CD and get prompted to buy the CD again? They really should fix that.

I mean, I'm in love with messenger, and the computer does run like a fucking racehorse, but god damn. Get rid of it. NOW.

MY FOOTY!

Today I cut my foot open. Yes it hurts.

Ya know that feeling you get when you just wake up, the one where you just feel at bliss with yourself and everything around you?

Imagine having it ruined by something stabbing your fucking foot and pulling the skin back and then seeing the rush of red all over the nice new carpet.

Thats what I woke up to today.

I was walking through my hallway into the kitchen, when out of nowhere this goddamned heat vent jumped up and grabbed my foot.


A loud "ahhhh FUCK! escaped from somewhere, I think it was from my mouth. THEN. If that wasn't bad enough, this red stuff started spurting out of my foot.

"OH joy! We're off to a good start, Jenn." Then I beat myself up for saying something so stupid and proceeded to the bathroom where I saw the following. (image slightly altered because I wasn't thinking about grabbing a camera)


(add dramatic sighs for my amazing artistic ability)

That progressed into my roomie insisting I needed a stitch. It is pretty deep so maybe she was right. NO. I'm always right. If anyone is sewing anything up, it's gonna be me. Pass the needle and thread MMMKAY?

But now I'm off to work. Isn't this attractive?

MY 101st POST!

Some people choose to commemorate important things. I never do stupid shit like that.
Read the archives. For the hell of it.

LOVE ME.


Don't you hate family "talks"?

Oh god. My family thinks I'm the bastard son of the devil. And they tell me every day. I get the "So Jennifer, when are you going back to school?" question way too much. I am ready to go physco and kill. Everyone.

I'M NOT GOIN UNLESS YOU PLAN ON DOING THE FUCKING WORK FOR ME.

I'm actually kidding. I got so sick of getting the same thing shoved up my ass that I have decided to go back to skoooll agang. I know that everyone says that you have to do stuff like that for yourself. They're idiot liars.
You do stuff to please other people. EVERYONE DOES.
Whether it be dress a certain way, or be religious, or go to school when you're a huge slacker. (just look at this site people)
So I'm going to make daddy proud.
Not that way.

101 101 101 101 101 101 101

I hate this town.

See that pile of shit in this picture? No, not the van.
It's railnet's new sand pit. This is also the view from my window. Now, I live in a pretty damn nice house that I own and pay taxes on.
What if I want to move? What if I want to sell this place... Don't tell me that shitload of sand isn't going to effect the price people are willing to pay for it.
You know what they say... LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION.

Well I'd like to suggest a new location for that heap... I think you all know where that might be.

So if you happen to live in my shitty town, sign the petition to get rid of this fat mess. (not the secretary)

Until this shit is gone I refuse to pay taxes.
And I challenge em to try to take my property away. Everyone knows my father.

Kiss my ass:

Doctors suck real bad.
In case you haven't been paying attention, I am sick. I have been sick for about 2 weeks now. I finally broke down and went to see a doctor last week, which I really don't do unless my anus has exploded or I vomited up my last kidney.
So I went and the doctor gave me some anti-biotics and made me get a blood test. ( I think it was to make sure I could still feel pain.) I FUCKING HATE NEEDLES. They are sick and gross and sick and fucking gross. "NO, I'm sorry nurse, I can't follow you because I don't want your god damned needle shoved in my fucking arm, and NO, I don't want you to take the mere thing that keeps me alive and warm."

So I took the damn mold pills and my cold went away. Yes, it did. "So Jenn, why are you still bitching?"becauseimfemale

I'm bitching because I still have some sort of malaria cough that won't go away. It's a painless but annoying thing that fell in love with my chest and doesn't want to go away. You can tell it's a male strain of malaria cough.

Words of the doctor: "Take these pills, and if you're not 100% better in a week, come back and I'll see what's wrong."
Being the sweetheart that I am, I did just that.

I sat in the fucking waiting room for an hour, and I sat in his office for another 20 minutes before he even talked to me.
Which is all he did.

My visit lasted 0.000078 seconds. I told him my cough wasn't going away and I wasn't feeling "100% better" and that people at work are bitching about me coughing on their fucking greaseballs. He said, "You're better right? Come back in on the 20th and if you are still coughing I'll see what I can do."
Towards the end of our brief talk I asked him what the results of my blood test were (and what the hell they were supposed to do) and I got, "Nothing. It's nothing. Have a good day!"

I grumbled a "fucking motherfucker fuck you, you fucker. good fucking day." and left.
So, by process of elimination... I'm dying, and contagious. In fact just by reading this I've probably infected you.

"Have a good day!"

I fucking hate work

I hate work so much. Yeah, I know you're thinking "who doesn't?". WEll.
1. My dad, the lawyer.
2. Doctors
3. Chickens.

When you work a shitty job it is IMPOSSIBLE to be happy. Seriously. Working in a restaurant is a life full of dumb jokes repeated over and over by old customers about having their steak "cooked", and fake smiles. (all smiles from your hostess are FAKE. Unless you're hot. And if you want us to laugh, say something original... Like the one I heard today.) Today I heard the best line ever. This pretty good looking guy was paying his bill, and I was standing there waiting for his Visa card printout, and on the pin pad it said wait for message. So he says "wait for massage... is that like my complementary dessert from you?" I thought it was sweet.

Anyways, I hate work.
Today was Sunday, and it was fucking busy as shit. I was working with the old hag waitress, she pisses me off to no end.
1. she takes all the tables that tip well
2. she takes all the hot young guys
3. she is dating the head chef so she gets special privileges
4. shes a bitch
5. i'm a bitch
6. she thinks she's hotter than me
7. i have a big ego
tomorrow I have to work at 12pm which is like fucking insanely early for me. AND. I have a banquet of 50 people and the lounge is still gonna be open to walk-ins.
I hate life. But I should make lots of money. ;)
It's bud time.later.

Shit Fuck Shit

Today I went to court and they sent me out within five fucking seconds.
I have to go back on the 17th of December.
I hate you all.

BUT. I got my court package. (The file with all the evidence used against me.)
AND. I got to read it.





fucking bullshit.

exibit A:
my charge: theft under 5000, and possession of stolen property.

To quote the statement of a certain cop, "Jennifer Maxwell was with a Jessica La______ when the theft occurred. She was never in possession of the object and was only there to offer help."
So I was an accomplice to the crime? Right? Right.

exibit A1:
according to the contract the family made with the memorial company, the object weighted 901 lbs.
(which is 755lbs more than the two of us weigh TOGHETHER.)
To top it off, the place is 7 blocks from Jessie's house, her statement says that is where we carried it to. BY OURSELVES.

real believable jess;)


what really pisses me off is that they are seeking restitution. Okay, well that's fine and dandy but according to the laws I studied, "restitution is not to exceed the damage caused by the act". From the paper I read, the object was worth $903.30.
The cops are seeking $900.00 restitution, FROM BOTH OF US.

SO where is the other $896.70 going, Mr. Ossifer?

HI EVERYBODY!

ok. Lots to say. Not enough energy to type it out.

First off:
Where's my internet? There's no more Ojobojo, no more circleofaddiction fourms, and no more __________(some site I liked but forgot about)!111! ANDDDD! To top it all off, all the email I got from before is lost, and no, I NEVER GOT TO READ IT! Now if you want to be really nice and email me right fucking away, please do at this address right here.
hurry! i need to know you still love me.

Does anyone know where I can download kazaa-lite? Just for the hell of it, not to illegally burn copyrighted songs. I SWEAR!


Ya know what pisses me off? Being sick and not being able to smoke.
and those goddammed chocolate things, the ones that look like chocolate covered pringles. Who the hell wants to eat chocolate chips? errr, chocolate POTATO-LIKE chips?

I gotta go watch homestar.
later