THE CRAZIES

Holy crap I start my new job in an hour and a half. I haven't slept all night.

I have butterflies.

I think I'm going to puke.



I'm seriously having mixed emotions right now.

I wish I didn't quit the bar. I picked the wrong time to do it. It's the fucking holidays. I could have used that extra cash to buy people kick ass shit they don't need and don't want. So they could give it back to me next year.

On the other hand I'm so kcufing excited to start working somewhere that doesn't attract losers. And I only have to dress hot if I want to, because, let's face it... when was the last time you tipped a secretary? It's scary that I'm going to be the newbie though. I hate being new. No one talks to you normal because they think you don't know shit all, and everyone fakes nice until they know you're cool. And I have to fake nice to all these people too, because I have no work friends I can talk to and bitch about other people with. God damn. I hope they feed me lots of cookies. Because I'm too nervous to eat right now. I'm scared instead of "hi!" I'll say "BAAAAAAARRRRRRF you smell!"

I'm also scared because I'm the youngest. Which sucks.


So yeah. I need to share an intimate moment with my blog right now. 1 sec.

Blog, if I fail at this, I'm going to cry for days. I don't want to go back to the bar, I don't want to fucking work at some grocery store, and I don't think I could fit me and my computer into a cardboard box. So if I fail, I'm going to blame you and never talk to you again. fucker. wait I like kcufer better. Cross your fingers for me. K? okay. Thanks man, you know I wuv ya.


OKAY. Long story short, I'm going to go in there, be all smile-e and make everyone love me with my cunning wit and charms.






And if that doesn't work I'm going to run home and lock myself in the bathroom.