I make theaters so hot:

Well today was the coolest and possibly worst day of my life.

I slept in. I got to eat McDonalds. (If you live in buttfuck nowhere, you will get the significance)I went shopping. I went to the movies. I got to drive around a lot and speed. And I got new undies.


I slept in and was late getting to the bank. I didn't get to pay any bills before I went shopping.

I got to eat McDonalds, I ordered a #1 with an orange, and instead got a #3 with a coke.

I went shopping and spent ALL of my money. (I have lots of self control.) I spent 70 bucks on Norton Antivirus 2005. I get it home, uninstall my old Norton firewall, and my old version of Norton antivirus. I put in the disk. 1000 times. My computer would not read that damn disk even if a hacker was going to blow up my RAMROD. I try system restore, and it won't restore my old Norton. So basically, feel free to send me bad links to porn sites and hack my computer for all my ass shots. Because lord knows Norton antivirus 2005 isn't going to stop anyone.
I also have to work at the shitty bar for 3 days just to make enough tips to pay off my cell and net bill. And then go to work my new desk job Monday morning at 9am. I'm probably going to jail soon, because I haven't paid some cash on my restitution this month.

I went to the movies. I have to watch the grudge again because we spent like ten hours at walmart trying on jeans. And breaking/stealing stuff. And playing Nintendo. And because on Thursday, your late night options are limited. We sit down. About ten minutes later the fire alarm goes off. I'm dead serious. So we all walk out of the doors into the lobby, and see the manager freaking out screaming "everybody out! It's in the back!" So, it's minus 20 outside,and there's like a 1000 people standing outside freezing. Kids are crying. Gay guys are making out. Then the fire trucks, ambulance, police, and swat team show up. I light a cigarette at this time because this is more action than I have seen in like 2 years. Then paranoid manager comes out and shouts "everyone that wants free movie passes go to petland" which is like a long fucking walk across the parking lot in the cold ass weather.
And ya know what? I knew I should have bought my digicam today, but I FUCKING FORGOT IT. I know you don't believe me so I'm going to show you the courtesy pass they gave me. No scanner, I suck hardcore.

It reads "Please accept our apologies for the inconvenience. This pass entitles you to one free admission for any regularly scheduled presentation. Valid 7 days a week. To be exchanged for an admission ticket. Subject to amusement taxes where applicable."
Sorry for any inconvenience? Yeah how about "sorry that you had to freeze your ass off and the god dammed building didn't even blow up". Fuck you.

I got to drive around a lot today. On the highway too. As I was passing a semi, he spits up a big rock and nails my windshield on the passenger side. My windshield is brand new, not even a scratch or crack. It splintered the glass. I got glass all over my lap and all over the inside of my truck and all over my friend's lap. If that would have went through it would have nailed her right in the fucking head. And what's worse is I didn't fucking stop the trucker and beat his ass... I mean get his shit so I could claim it on insurance. So yeah I have to pay out of pocket for the fucking thing. It was scary as hell too. I'm doing like 145k easy while I'm passing this fucker, and suddenly BAM! like whoa. The only words out of my mouth were HOLY FUCK! HOLY FUCK! HOLY FUCK!. I pulled over and collected myself and the glass. I pulled out and thought GOD DAMN I SHOULD HAVE CAUGHT UP TO THAT FUCKER. So I stopped again and kicked my own ass.

CHECK OUT MY SLIPPERS:
http://photos1.blogger.com/img/250/2034/640/slippers.jpg