Holiday Spice

I am by no means a germaphobe. I don't use 1000 bars of soap a day, I don't throw away cups after they have been used once, I'm not afraid to kiss someone, and I don't bring my own silverware to restaurants.

But I'm so grossed out by other peoples spit. When my friends spit outside I gag. It was a big game one night called "who can hack up the nastiest loogie ever and make Jenn puke." Well just the sound of them doing the whole nasty throat clearing thing made me barf. I swear to god! Ask my friends, we were sitting outside drinking and I turned in my chair and puked all over my deck. And then ran into the bathroom and puked some more. It's like a disease that only I have.

Today my friend was here and I bought a bottle of the new Pepsi "holiday spice" (which is wicked good), had a drink and put it back for later. She saw it it my fridge, opened it, and took a swig, right out of my bottle.

I passed out.



I couldn't drink it now. Not even out of a glass because she could have left some spit in the pop after. And seeing as I'm never gonna drink it, I told her "I don't really like it, you can have it" because there is no way in hell I'm going to tell her that I'm not drinking it after her nasty ass mouth was all over it. I don't understand it. I can share a smoke, or a beer, but not anything like pop, water, or juice. It's weird.

But in my head it's justified. I can share smokes because there we're really only sharing lip epithelials, and the alcholol in beer (probably won't but I tell myself it will) will kill the germs when I share that. (but with beer I still wipe the top off with my sleeve)

I don't really like public places that much either. Door handles, restrooms, and chairs freak me out. BLECH. Buttgermies.
It's all good when I'm drunk though, I don't even think about it when I'm reaching for the door at a bar.

Maybe I'm crazy and need to see a shrink, but it seriously bothers me when people like, share burgers with their friends and stuff. I would be willing to wash dishes if it meant that I could get my own seperate burger.

So if everyone stopped spitting, my life would be 10000000002154 times better.



Hell, everyone should stop living just for me.