Shit Fuck Shit

Today I went to court and they sent me out within five fucking seconds.
I have to go back on the 17th of December.
I hate you all.

BUT. I got my court package. (The file with all the evidence used against me.)
AND. I got to read it.





fucking bullshit.

exibit A:
my charge: theft under 5000, and possession of stolen property.

To quote the statement of a certain cop, "Jennifer Maxwell was with a Jessica La______ when the theft occurred. She was never in possession of the object and was only there to offer help."
So I was an accomplice to the crime? Right? Right.

exibit A1:
according to the contract the family made with the memorial company, the object weighted 901 lbs.
(which is 755lbs more than the two of us weigh TOGHETHER.)
To top it off, the place is 7 blocks from Jessie's house, her statement says that is where we carried it to. BY OURSELVES.

real believable jess;)


what really pisses me off is that they are seeking restitution. Okay, well that's fine and dandy but according to the laws I studied, "restitution is not to exceed the damage caused by the act". From the paper I read, the object was worth $903.30.
The cops are seeking $900.00 restitution, FROM BOTH OF US.

SO where is the other $896.70 going, Mr. Ossifer?

HI EVERYBODY!

ok. Lots to say. Not enough energy to type it out.

First off:
Where's my internet? There's no more Ojobojo, no more circleofaddiction fourms, and no more __________(some site I liked but forgot about)!111! ANDDDD! To top it all off, all the email I got from before is lost, and no, I NEVER GOT TO READ IT! Now if you want to be really nice and email me right fucking away, please do at this address right here.
hurry! i need to know you still love me.

Does anyone know where I can download kazaa-lite? Just for the hell of it, not to illegally burn copyrighted songs. I SWEAR!


Ya know what pisses me off? Being sick and not being able to smoke.
and those goddammed chocolate things, the ones that look like chocolate covered pringles. Who the hell wants to eat chocolate chips? errr, chocolate POTATO-LIKE chips?

I gotta go watch homestar.
later

What I have been doing:

As a few of you may have noticed, I dropped off the face of the internet about a week and a half ago. I have heard a lot of rumors about what happened to me, and I am here to clear up some of the misconceptions.

1. I am not dead. I really am updating right now. I swear. This is not a ghost.

2. I didn't fall to my death while chasing chicken wings at the local bar.

3. I did not kill my neighbor and end up in jail for 9000 years.

So now that you all know that I am still alive, I'm sure you can finally get a good sleep at night.

_______________

ON TOPIC: "what I have been doing"

Watching T.V.:
I think I have fallen in love with law and order special victims unit. And CSI Miami. I also have bad news.... I have found a new respect for the WHOA-MAN awesomeness that is Oprah.

Sleeping:
Well duh. Now that I have nothing to do until 4 am online, I ACTUALLY SLEEP!
Be proud. Be proud.

Being sick:
Internet withdrawals caused me to go out and socialize.
This caused horrible man experiences, awful female conversations, and a terrible common cold. The life outside of this room sucks dick for busfare and walks home.

I have to go watch CSI.

Three things that are wrong in the world:

1. money
2. money
3. money

I hate life.

Top ten reasons you probably piss me off.
So this is my first post and I'm supposed to be all witty and shit, but I can't think of a fucking thing. Actually that's not true. I wrote a really long entry about how much women piss me off and how bitter I am but that didn't seem appropriate on a females blog. So, fuck it. Here's a top ten list.
10) You are driving and yapping on your cell phone.
Shut the fuck up and drive.
9) You are listening to a type of music that irritates me.
What makes your ignorant ass think I want
to listen to your shitty music.
8) You interrupt me when I'm talking.
What I have to say is -n- times more important.
Shut up and listen.
7) You are a telemarketer.
Bottom feeding shit breather.
6) You are butt ugly and fat and you've got hot chicks all over you.
I'm speechless.
5) You are a "close talker".
Back the fuck away from me, homo. I don't need
to smell your breath to understand the bullshit
that is comming out of your mouth.
4) I just don't like you.
Go away.
3) You're happy.
There is absolutely nothing to be happy about
life sucks and you are going to die. Your mother
didn't love you either, she was lying.
2)You're breathing my air.
Stop breathing.
1) You've got all the brains of a box of hair.
Kill yourself.


Bite me,
Almighty Ruler

DMX wants to be a pastor:
The way I see it, if a rapper that swears more than (someone that swears a lot) can be a pastor, so can I.

I am starting my own church. For realz yo'.

Anyone that wants to do all the work for me is welcome to email me the bible... I have no freakin idea what the hell im talking about.

------
in other news:
My computer is busted... so yeah, even less frequent updates...

Happy fucking April fools day!