Ten reasons I wish I graduated:

10. So I can say I did.
9. So I can say I did
8. So I can say I did
7. So I can say I did
6. So I can say I did
5. So I can say I did
4. So I can say I did
3. So I can say I did
2. So I can say I did
1. So I can say I did

Do you have any idea how pathetic it is to say "I uhhh, dropped out of college."?

FOR ME?

I'm not trying to rag on all you guys/girls that quit because you wanted to. I quit because I wanted to, and because I'm an idiot. So yeah, Fuck you all. I'm going back. Kinda. Internet school rox.
I do not.

-----
My god I really suck. I'm so horrible. Horrible with a capital B, I, T, C, and H. Someone cheer me up.
AIM me: Jennifer965846
MSN me: imbetterthanyouare787@hotmail.com
I'm cool I promise.

This made my day:

You have achieved the Golden Mean! You are
58%


pickup-able! You're like Jen. Do you know my friend Jen? You're just like her—she's like this cool girl who's attractive and funny. I should call Jen. Or maybe you're like my friend Steve. Regardless, you like to flirt, but not with ugly people. And when you lock eyes with the right person, you know how to turn the sparks into a towering inferno. But sometimes you won't give people the time of day, which is mean when they really just need to know what time it is. In general, make sure you smell good.



FUN FACT...



people more pickup-able than you (3%)
people just as pickup-able as you (0%)
people less pickup-able than you (95%)

Based on the 1,917,476 submissions before you.


Click here to see if you're like Jen.

Man, they make tests to gratify my coolness now. I'm wicked.

I bet you thought that was it:

I'm betting you thought that the last entry was the last you would hear from me for another week. Hellz no. Even though you expect nothing from me, and really could give a shit if I update or not. WAIT. One of you does.

So here goes.

"Jennifer 8" sucks:

I just watched the shittiest movie ever. With MY NAME AS THE FREAKIN TITLE.

First off, with a name like "Jennifer 8" you would think I would be in it. Eating something. Or it'd be hot porn, with someone else named Jenn in it. But it is not. Woe is me.

And Jennifer 8 is not in a long line of sequels, it's the first movie. Way to be deceiving you movie producer people. Real cool.

The movie is all about some cop dude and some blind chick that is being hunted by some serial killer that has a thing for blind chicks. 20 minutes into this shit-flick I wished I was blind. Blind blind blind. Some some some. Dude chick dude.

Seriously though, I won't tell you the whole plot because the movie was long and I'm a lazy typer... but I was going to turn it off and watch MTV. MTV Canada. That's how bad the movie was.
So go watch it, it's awesome, because with a name like Jennifer in the title, you know its going to be wicked.
--------------------

In my news:

I stepped on a nail and it went through my shoe and into my foot. It uhhh... kinda hurts right now. I'm limping around like a gimp. And I go back to work tomorrow. Great. Fun. So if you come to the restaurant tomorrow and see some kid dragging her left leg around, well that's me.

Hot guys are hot.

Buying work clothes at the mall is not nearly as easy as I thought. I ended up with jeans, underwear, preppy sweaters, shoes, CD's, and one pair of black pants for work.

Sleeping is a waste of time. And space. I think I should knock down a wall in my living room to make my bedroom huge. Or I should sell my bed and sleep standing up.

Reasons you are obviously a robot:

1. Because.

2. I say you are.

3. Tie.

4. New sweaters make Jenn look like a preppy.

5. What was the point again?


go have fun with this for a while

Date: Wed, 24 Mar 2004 20:18:59 -0600
From: Bing
To: jenn
Subject: Holy shit
2 unnamed text/html 2.26 KB

Ok, right up front, I'll admit it. I'm drunk. So if the rest of this e-mail sounds stupid and incoherent, please forgive me.( at least I'm not driving). I just tried to pull up your web page and it wouldn't come up the first couple of tries and I thought it was gone forever. I know, to you it must sound silly, but, I felt for a moment like a friend of mine just died. I thought I would never hear from you again and I felt an awful pain. It is not often I find a kindred spirit ( cynical, bitter, intelligent, as opposed to fat, dumb and happy ). You are the coolest chick I have ever "met" . I know that must sound creepy coming from a 37 year old but I'm not hitting on you any way and like minds transcend age ( that sounds asinine yeah I know ). Anyway I just wanted to let you know that your page makes a difference in a few peoples small insignificant lives and to keep it up. It doesn't matter if you don't have anything to say. We don't care. Just say anything. I once read about writers block and the best advice I ever got was that you write for quantity and not for quality. If you can't think of anything to write just write shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit blah blahb lahbl blhab blah. Not literally of course, just write anything that comes to mind. The key is to write, write, write, then when you're done, edit for content. You may find that you've written 15 pages of pure shit, but if you can pull out one page of brilliance (sp? ) then you've beaten writers block forever. Good luck Jenn. I know you will make an excellent writer one day.

Bing

You guys, hold me.

I got that sweetass email from Bing today. I'm blown away. See, if I got more emails like that I would never stop updating. Just when I was beginning to think that no one cared whether or not I ever posted something here again, I got this.

Thank you, Bingus for reaffirming my position on the internet and giving me incentive to get back to work. When you get an email like that, you know you've made it.
No matter how many people see this. No matter how many hits this page gets.

I'm happy right where I am.

I died. I'm sorry.


Reincarnation on Friday or Saturday though...

What MSN convos with Tracy are like:
it's actually worse in real life...

Baby Gurl: im poopy
Baby Gurl: today
Tokie: haha
Tokie: poopy
Baby Gurl: i know sucks
Tokie: yeah
Baby Gurl: hello
Baby Gurl: wut u doin
Tokie: hi
Tokie: cant you see me typing?
Tokie: hello?
Tokie: im standing on one hand with my left toe pointed 90
degrees to the right

Baby Gurl: HI LOW!
Baby Gurl:
lololololollllllllllloooooooooooooooolllllllllllllllllll
looooooooooooooolllllllllll
Tokie: jesus christ
Tokie: its like a LOL party on the screen.
Baby Gurl: yes
Baby Gurl:
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH
HHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAA
Tokie: I'm blinded.
Baby Gurl: good hahalol

Tokie: sup?
Baby Gurl: my fart smiles goood
Tokie: your fart smiles good?

Baby Gurl: (8)lalalalaalallallalala
Baby Gurl: deeeedeeededededed
Tokie: are you on crack?
Baby Gurl: dudududuud
Baby Gurl: im singinh
Tokie: whoa. youre cool.

Baby Gurl: just live wit it
o4hpa: ill live with kickin your ass... thats what ill live with
Baby Gurl: no other way around
Baby Gurl: hah
o4hpa: htiw evil lli tahw staht ...ssa ruoy nikcik htiw evil lli?
Baby Gurl: can u spell engish
o4hpa: pay attention moron
o4hpa: you said the other way around so i typed it backwards
o4hpa: jesus christ! engish? way to make yourself look smart
o4hpa: dipshit.
Baby Gurl: lolololololololo

Work sucks:

Yeah okay. Jenn is not a drama queen. I promise. BUT FUCK. (BUTTFUCK . Hah. Oh wow I'm cool.)
I work at some shitty restaurant. Well, not shitty, but yah know? NEWAYZ. The staff is ALL CHICKS! ALL CHICKS OVER 30! (well except for me) And, most of them are stuck in perma-PMS mode. So much drama. No Mo' Drama. (whoa I'm awesome) So when you go to work someone's always bitching about someone else... or someone is always overly-happy or under-....pants.

Everyone likes me though because I'm wicked cool. Wicked. Cool.
So I get stuck being peace keeper. When really all I wanna do is beat the shit out of the old ladies and go home. With pay.

So Lynn is this really old lady and she is always crabby. She's from like England or something so she's really old and wrinkly and always saying "luv" in her stupid accent even though she really means fuck off. She thinks she's the boss, so right there we conflict egos. (I. Want. To. Kill.) But because I do everything right and am wickedly awesome, she lets me run things when she's gone to the "potty" or taking her osteoporosis pills.

Okay, so we hired some new lady... Today was the first day Lynn and whatsherface worked together. GREAT FUN. Apparently whatsherface asked "if she could help" and Lynn told her to like eat shit and die or something... So sissyface started all "Boo HOO! I'm an overly-emotional female that starts bawling when someone tells me that I have pepper in my teeth! Pity Me!" (actually it was more like, "Jennnnnnnnnnnn, Lynn's told me to go away! FIX IT! FIX IT! WAAAAAAHHHHH! I'm not talking to her ever again! Can you tell her that I hate her and I'm going to get my old man boyfriend to beat her with his cain?")

I ate her with a some garlic bread and a fine Chianti.
Problem solved.

Secrets people have told me:
No names here.... But yeah, I'm a blabbermouth.

________ dated/slept with a guy when she was dating (BF). Dated the guy she cheated with for a day before hopping in the sack with him. Her BF was with her for 6 months before... And still is. Doesn't know.

_______ lost her virginity at 14. Lied to the 22 year old and said she was 16. Came close to getting knocked up (yeah big deal hey?). Found out two years later she has AIDS.

________ became addicted to meth and coke at 16. Ended up in some private(prissy) rehab clinic in the hills and came out three years later. (yeah it took that long) only to go back on the streets to do it again...

Greg and I started drinking at 16. I used to party with him in highschool.
He died in a car crash last night... DUI.
-----------
I love Tracy when she brings bad fucking news. AHHHHHH. I hate you all. I hate everyone. Don't fucking drink and drive.

Jesus, we're dropping like flies.
------
The 100th SB email made me kinda happy.

on that happy note:

Happy Deathday!
Your name:	xxx-centric
You will die on:	Saturday, July 2, 2022
You will die of:	Electrocution
Username:
Created by Quill

I should update

Yeah, I know I should. But I'm temporarily wayyyy too cool to have time to update this site.

BLOG TIME:
I went out quading last night and got all tipsy in the bush with some buddies. We tried to get a fire going but we suck and there was too much damn snow around us, so we went back to Ashely's place because it was like -96 degrees outside and we drank and drank and drank and drank and fought.

Then at like 230 am I wanted to go home because I had to work today at 12pm. So I did and then I get a call from Brandy telling me that she's having this mega cool house party and everyone wants me to come over there and tell them jokes or something... so I do. I end up drinking and drinking and drinking and drinking and fighting some more. And falling down stairs.

But I was really entertaining. Which was good for them.

Anyways, as you can see I'm really wickedly awesome because the amount I party is directly linked to how cool I am when I'm between the ages of 16-25.
-------------------
Random thought of the day:

What do Canadian banks do with all the spare American change that travelers/me use because we forgot to exchange it with out big bills?
Think about it people... If you add up all the American nickels and stuff that the Canadian banks get from stores or restaurants and things, and you cash it all in for the equivalent Canadian currency, that's a lot of cash.

They should just collect it all up and give it to the poor. Or me.

I'm cool

If you read this sentence over and over again, you will realize I'm like the awesomest person that ever lived. (Yes, better than {whoever you're thinking of}.) If you read this sentence over and over again, you will realize I'm like the awesomest person that ever lived. (Yes, better than {whoever you're thinking of}.) If you read this sentence over and over again, you will realize I'm like the awesomest person that ever lived. (Yes, better than {whoever you're thinking of}.) If you read this sentence over and over again, you will realize I'm like the awesomest person that ever lived. (Yes, better than {whoever you're thinking of}.) If you read this sentence over and over again, you will realize I'm like the awesomest person that ever lived. (Yes, better than {whoever you're thinking of}.) If you read this sentence over and over again, you will realize I'm like the awesomest person that ever lived. (Yes, better than {whoever you're thinking of}.) If you read this sentence over and over again, you will realize I'm like the awesomest person that ever lived. (Yes, better than {whoever you're thinking of}.) If you read this sentence over and over again, you will realize I'm like the awesomest person that ever lived. (Yes, better than {whoever you're thinking of}.) If you read this sentence over and over again, you will realize I'm like the awesomest person that ever lived. (Yes, better than {whoever you're thinking of}.) If you read this sentence over and over again, you will realize I'm like the awesomest person that ever lived. (Yes, better than {whoever you're thinking of}.) If you read this sentence over and over again, you will realize I'm like the awesomest person that ever lived. (Yes, better than {whoever you're thinking of}.) If you read this sentence over and over again, you will realize I'm like the awesomest person that ever lived. (Yes, better than {whoever you're thinking of}.) If you read this sentence over and over again, you will realize I'm like the awesomest person that ever lived. (Yes, better than {whoever you're thinking of}.) If you read this sentence over and over again, you will realize I'm like the awesomest person that ever lived. (Yes, better than {whoever you're thinking of}.) If you read this sentence over and over again, you will realize I'm like the awesomest person that ever lived. (Yes, better than {whoever you're thinking of}.) If you read this sentence over and over again, you will realize I'm like the awesomest person that ever lived. (Yes, better than {whoever you're thinking of}.) If you read this sentence over and over again, you will realize I'm like the awesomest person that ever lived. (Yes, better than {whoever you're thinking of}.) If you read this sentence over and over again, you will realize I'm like the awesomest person that ever lived. (Yes, better than {whoever you're thinking of}.) If you read this sentence over and over again, you will realize I'm like the awesomest person that ever lived. (Yes, better than {whoever you're thinking of}.) If you read this sentence over and over again, you will realize I'm like the awesomest person that ever lived. (Yes, better than {whoever you're thinking of}.) If you read this sentence over and over again, you will realize I'm like the awesomest person that ever lived. (Yes, better than {whoever you're thinking of}.)

Just a note: "see ya tonight" really means never

What girls are REALLY thinking during sex:

If you last longer than 10 minutes, "more" pretty much means "are you done yet?".

OH MY GOD!= Write that down. Keep that for future reference.

When she says "mmmmm"...
You need to get your ass off the internet and find a hooker.

If she screams someone else's name, just pretend you never heard it.
Obviously, she's living out a fantasy, with someone that she likes, and his name just isn't whatever the hell your name is.

"You wanna do that?"- are you insane.

When you ask "was it good for you", if at any time during her response she uses the word "good" YOU HAVE TO SMARTEN THE HELL UP. Or that bouncer hottie that always hits on her, is gonna end up hittin'it.

If a chick actually wants you to leave the lights on, it means (a) she wants to make sure you're really a guy or (b) she wants you to see her super hot (insert body part here)
Regardless of what your mind leads you to believe, it's not because you're so hot she wants to see everything.
---------------------------------

What does a computer nerd scream from his window when his house is on fire?
F1! F1! F1! F1! F1!
I made that joke up all by myself. Jenn=comedic god.

See ya later tonight.

Spring Break sucks:

Everyone goes away for spring break. They go have fun, get drunk, strip, and sleep with lots of different people.

They all leave widdle me behind.

When I was a kid I used to get all excited for spring break. That was becase I used to stay home from school with my family and friends and do nothing but ride my bicycle around town. Good times, that was.

BUT NOW, I have no school to be on a break from, and all my friends leave me to ride my bicycle around town by myself. How cruel.

I guess I'm just bitter because I have to work at 5pm and then 2am and then 2pm again. It's going to be great fun. GREAT. FUN.
I wish I lived on the moon or something. HOW COOL WOULD THAT BE 'YO?
lolz.

So yeah, spring break sucks. Stay home and be cool like me. Maybe I'll entertain you.



Probably not.

Cameras piss me off:

I took a picture of me and Ashley laying in the snow... We layed there freezing for like ten minutes.
It didn't turn out.

I took a picture of me and Ashley standing on this like bench swing thing, it was so hard to stay still and not make it swing and fall off. We got the picture though.
It didn't turn out.

I took a picture of the scariest old house in the world. I thought it would look all artsy or whatever.
It didn't turn out.

I took pictures of me. They show up.
But they didn't turn out GOOD.

I wanted to bring it out today when we went for coffee.
My batteries died. In an hour.

I saw a sweet ass moose running in the field. I took like 8 pictures in a row. From a moving car, but still. You'd think one would be OKAY.
I managed to get a clear shot of his ass.

I have concluded that I am not a photographer. Please shoot me.
Edit: If you really wanna see some, scroll all the way down to the bottom of the page.
Pretty bad huh? HATE TO SAY I TOLD YOU SO.

She Bangs!

I am not one to sit around watching American Idol, or any TV for that matter, unless there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING else to do. So when Will Hung was the only topic on everyones mind, I had no freakin idea who the hell they were talking about. Of course, the awesomeness that is me, read a Yahoo story or something about this kid and was like: "Uhhh, that's nice." and I never thought about it again.

I went to like a zillion sites that offered the She Bangs! video dowload, but I seriously wasn't interested. I mean, I'm the only one in the world that hasn't seen ANY of the Paris Hilton tapes. It's not that I'm all reformed and modest and prissy, stuff like that just doesn't interest me.

Well I was driving around today, and guess what... I heard the radio version of She Bangs. I'm so mega impressed with this guy.(riiiiiiight) I seriously was sitting in the car, laughing my ass off 'yo. I thought it was pretty damn funny. But it was funny because it sucked. (Just when I thought no one could possibly sing worse than me.) I haven't seen the video, and probably never will... I don't download shit that I'm only going to watch once.

It's kinda funny, only kinda.
Can you tell I've had no professional training? Of writing.
hungwill.com

I broke the internet:

Jenn+anything computer related=bad news.


I'm cursed. First it was the keyboard. I had to live like 2 weeks without a B key. It was hell, or so I thought...
Last night I broke my phone jack. Yes, I am that stupid. For those of you that do not get the significance of this event, I have dial up. That needs a phone jack. This house sucks, it had ONE. (now three) So I had no internet for a whole day.

THIS IS A BIG FREAKIN DEAL, MMMMKAY?
I was dying. I live on the computer. I'm really cool.
I missed the =? and I missed the way Meranda goes "hey sexy." and I missed the www.(insertcoolsite).com. And I missed telling you about hot guys.

I tried playing solitaire... just so I could be close to my baby, but that sucked dick. So I sat and read the new issue of Blender. That was ok for ten minutes... then I watched feardotcom for the 89546546541654 time. It was still pretty lame. Then I sat and thought about what all my contacts were doing...talking on the internet to someone way cool, and I was sitting there watching damn tv. I cried for awhile, and then had a shower and went to work. I came home to meet the phone guy standing in my house. It was kinda weird.

BUT I HAVE DIAL UP AGAIN.
start/ YaaaaaaY! / end sarcasm.

In other news:

I've been brainwashed. By Brittany Spears.
That damn song toxic won't get out of my head. I hate it so much, but I love it at the same time. I found myself standing in Future Shop buying "in the zone." I wanted to kick my own ass, but I was too busy singing along. (blllahh blahhh bllllah blah blah cuz I know that you're toxic)

GUY STorY: As PRomISEd LOLZ!
It's pretty funny when guys that don't work at the store are trying to help you buy something. I think it's funny anyway. In a dorky way. (I was looking at computers. Some dude comes over and starts talking about RAM or something... wait, I wonder if that has a special meaning.)

Headaches suck dick.

My head hurts. Really bad. And I can't sleep, but I'm so tired.

Pity me. Pity me.

I "updated" the about me thingy. Have a look if you're really fucking bored.

Or you can be cool and play tic tac toe. It's fun. Trust me.
Sleep, then food, then shopping. Ill have hot guy stories later. MMMM MALL!
If you want cute boy stories/mall junk right now:
www.ninjapirate.com
EMAIL ME STUFF. LIKE SOUP.
AND LOVE LETTERS.

Canadian Currency:

First we have the bills:

100: Yellowy-brown kinda color. Sought after by many, taken by me.
I really like this bill because it's worth the most. DUH.

50: It's a faded red color, and seeing as red is my favorite color, it gets 6 thumbs up from me. And its worth more than pennies so it rules.

20: It's green. It reminds me of home.
In other words, it sucks. I'm burning 30 of them right now. GrEEn DAy RleuZ!!!11!

10: It's some purply-blue color.
It's gay.

5: Are blue.
Blue=sad=depressing=fuck off I don't want to hear about Canada's economical problems.

Then there are the coins:

TOONIES: What the hell does TWONEE mean? What is the correct spelling? Why do you un-yankees insist on turning every damn bill into a circular metal form?
I wonder if Canadians are aware that foreigners like to keep their pants on in public. Mine fell down 9 times after I crossed the border. Extra weight in pockets=BAD BAD BAD. Anyway, it's worth the LOONIE X 2.

LOONIE: Is named after my mother. HI MOM.

QUARTER: Quit stealing America's name for their change, damn you!

DIME: See above

Nickelback: Is Gay.

got a PENNY? I ate mine by mistake.