Who the hell names their kid Jennifer?

Seriously you guys, why the fuck would you name a kid something so stupid? Jennifer is such a shitty name. It's boring. It's overused. It sounds funny. It makes me think about gross stuff like flowers and sunshine.

Lemme break it down for all you dipshits:
J- is a funny looking letter, it starts words like jizz, junk, and that horrible word jump.

enn- is really a stupid way of saying the letter "n." It reminds me of those stupid AOL'ers that use shitty slang like "u" or "r" or "buttfuck."

ifer- Basically, ifer means "if her." How sexist. What a crock of shit.

I pity all of the kids named Jennifer. It's terrible that there are so many too.

Some facts about Jennifers:
-65% of all Jennifers are really male.
-most members of the Jennifer population are useless
-Jennifer's are overpopulating areas and seriously depleting the availability of all the Matts, Jakes, or Ryans.

Really, all you teen moms that are reading my shitty site right now, I'm begging you, don't name your son or daughter Jennifer. It leads to problems like the classic but horrible "hun, how's my hair?" or "tweeter, do I have too much makeup on?" or even worse, "psst, what's 2+6?."

I'm not saying all Jennifers are stupid. Actually, yes. Yes I am. And it has everything to do with the name.
As always:
It's the parents' fault. Do the right thing bitches.