Bloody hell!

Today I woke up to find that my hands were covered/dripping with blood. This is not a normal phenomenon for myself, so of course I am still trying to figure out what the hell happened.
My mom called today. (at 8:30am) The conversation went as follows:
ME:Hello
MOM:Hi sweetie! How are you?! Good to hear from you. You never call anymore. What are you doing right now?
ME:I just woke up. Washing my hands. I've got a zillion cuts and I have no idea where they came from.
MOM:WHAT! Call an ambulance! Are you bleeding!? OH MY GOD! You're dying! What do these cuts look like?
ME:They are just small. Relax. Some are kinda deep, but I'm sure it's nothing. It's just on my hands. There's only like 13. It's nothing. It'll stop sometime.
MOM:Oh wow. It's stigmata. Where are they on your hands?
ME:Umm, palms. A couple are on my thumbs.
MOM:It's a sign from God! Jennifer, that's stigmata! You are turning into a saint!
ME:*laughs* That's retarded. You know me. I can't believe you just said that. You really need to get out more, those church socials don't count.
MOM:I'm serious. It's written in the bible!
ME:This conversation is gay. I have to go get drunk or something. Nice talkin to ya. BYE MOM!
*click*
So my mom thinks I'm turning into a saint... MUHAHAHAHA

The way I see it there are ten possibilities: (arranged from least likely to most likely)

10. It was ketchup
9. Tracy's mad because I made her go bang on some chicks door to see if I could borrow their cam.
8. Tracy's mad because I call her an idiot everyday.
7. I got suicidal for ten minutes and forgot.
6. I got drunk at a party, beat the shit outta someone and then passed out.
5. Tracy was practicing her embroidery skills on my hands when I was sleeping.
4. Some idiot tried to kill me.
3. I eat too much.
2. I pulled a steak out of the fridge and went atter' carnivore style.
1. I killed someone.