Someone give me money:

If I had a lot of money you can bet your ass that I would have all of these things:

1.THIS. I'll take Jesse too.

2. A live-in foot massager: I NEED this. Someone to massage my feet would make me 900% happier. (1000% happier if it's someone really hot)

3. A tricycle: I miss my wittle twcycle. My dad ran it over with the truck when I was 7. It's a funny story, I was riding on the sidewalk when my dad was getting ready to work. He hopped in the truck, looked back, and slammed on the gas. Made me think that I should stop peeing on him. (I never did)

4. A trailer: I need this to have all my supercool parties in. I don't want to dirty the huge freakin' mansion I have now.

5. A tiger: I've always loved the way they look. (so cute and cuddly of course) I think having one in the house would be way cooler than spending cash on a security system. Everyone in the world should buy a tiger; people wouldn't rob houses, and tigers would never be extinct. If you are one of those animal rights people, you are either (A) TIGER FOOD or (B) ROBBED. Just do the right thing and get a damn tiger bitchs.

6. The biggest hotel chain in the world: I've always wondered what it was like to act like Paris Hilton. I blame all of her wrongs on the hotel. It must be hard to (not) run a huge hotel, party all night, and not go to school. Poor girl.

7.Dancing lessons from Shakira: I wish I could do that shake thing that she does. I tried once, I ended up rotating my ass into a wall. Once you start swiveling your hips it's really hard to stop/steer.

8. Cheek implants: This has got to be the gayest plastic surgery out there. I want it just so I can see the reaction on normal people's faces when I say "Aren't my new, fat cheeks great?"

9. A continent: I want to rule over people, owning a land mass would be so cool. I could sell people houses on my country, and make laws like:
(A) Drinking anything other than beer is forbidden.
(B) The anthem will be: Get Naked by Methods of Mayhem
(C) Killing stupid people is not illegal.

10. I would go to a real college, not fucking Cypress: Not good enough to get in? MUAHAHA... How 'bout $10 bucks? That's what I thought....

11. A real website: Wait, I already have this, I'm just lazy.

If you are rich and want to give me money contact me Here. Small donations of $2000 at a time will also be accepted.